Yo, momma

Hey Mom.

I know you’re sad that I left you all alone in Texas with Dad. Now all five of your kids are gone. Stop crying. Cookie would like a walk. Don’t yell at me. Don’t tell me what to do!

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Look at this terrifying picture of snow cream I made on the trail using Carnation Breakfast Essentials and snow. It may or may not have been 9°F. Don’t judge me.

I know that makes you cold. Go sit by your small Texas heater and do your sudoku.

Rosie and David and I rabble with your grandkids, who grow more cute every day. Yesterday, I put myself on time-out, because I’ve been here working for over three weeks and am still not officially on payroll, because the lab is dragging their feet on the business end of the paperwork. This leads to crabbiness and despair, which I want to take out on my family/housemates. Therefore: time-out.

I’m just setting good examples for the kids.

Other things I work on include: applying for grants I’m not really qualified for, and some that I might be if I am convincing enough; reaching out to a bunch of people from trail-past; reaching out to a bunch of organizations and people for trail-future, in the hopes that I will (1) eat, (2) cross the Arctic, and (3) maybe can do useful things while crossing the Arctic, as safely as possible to be sure, stop crying Mom. Related to future science. No getting eaten by polar bears. I also took the teeny “donate to Sail” button off my website after I registered my hike with HIKE for Mental Health, in January, because I want contributions to go there and theoretically can work for my own food…. But am still deciding whether or not to make it available, but suitably obscure.

Did you know there are polar bears where I will be walking? POLAR BEARS.

Also: reading science about tracking ocean circulation using isotope ratios in salt marshes; working at the research lab which isn’t paying me; reading all about water; finishing Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series; breathing; checking my phone; seam sealing my leaky tent thing (Bivy. You remember, the red tiny tent thing that you can’t sit up in) so that I don’t wake up in puddles on hillsides until June or July if the sealant is better than I remember. Maybe we should go back to trash bags.

But the bugggs…

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Hamburgs.

Other things involve replacing the sleeping pad; buying a glamorous 10-serving can of freeze dried Mountain House Breakfast Skillet; drawing; and listening to Coffee Break French, which was recommended to me in Quebec. I know you used to speak three languages and now have forgotten all your Chinese, even though you’re Asian. How do you think your ancestors feel?*

*Pretty sure they’re fine, and delighted with you. After all, you had me. And were a black belt or whatever, and a bunch of other cool, delightful things.

Someday maybe I’ll be as awesome as you. I need to go wash a bunch of river water bottles with acid now.

I am so unpaid.

Love,
your second and obviously best child.

 

P.S. To my siblings: fite me m8s

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